I’m loving music since I was 4 years old. My mom used to make me sing in special numbers in church and in school and in many contests. But I was really formally trained in Jesus Is Lord Colleges Foundation (JILCF). I spent 7 years of my life there; away from my parents. I just went home with Kuya James and Ate Joanne during weekends, but when I’m alone there after 4 years when they graduated from high-school, sometimes I went home to Quezon City only twice a month.
The Calling
Mommy and dad often visited me there. They checked and provided everything. They sacrificed for my better future in a Christian school away from them because I had been persecuted in New Era University (an Iglesia ni Cristo school) when I competed in a singing contest. They just enrolled me there due to proximity, but they didn’t want the school to influence my belief. From that experience came genuine guidance of the Almigthy. They obeyed God even if it is and it will be hard for us. Today, we are reaping the fruit of their obedience. You’re really the best mommy and dad!
Every August, I was pulled-out from my class and started my daily training in preparation for the most awaited inter-school competition in Bulacan–BULPRISA, or Bulacan Private Schools Association. For God’s glory, as I carry the Name of Jesus through my school, the JILCF has always brought home the bacon. They said that I will be officially competing for my school every year. And that started on 1998 when I was in grade 4 until my last year there during my 4th year in
high-school, 2005. Maybe, just a quick count, I already competed for around 20 singing competitions in my 24 years of existence.
My worse experience was in 2003, when every body knows that I won, but unfortunately, the judges were the ones who didn’t know about it. The people protested even they were not from JILCF. I competed for two categories there: vocal solo and vocal duet. That’s why after my vocal solo with “Lipad ng Pangarap” by Dessa as my piece, my trainer told me when he saw me helplessly crying, “Huwag kang umiyak, may isa ka pa.” He said that for two reasons: (1) because he doesn’t want my voice to be affected (crying will definitely ruin my performance for my second battle with my partner with our piece “Habang May Buhay” by Regine and Jaya. I have all the high notes and he’s taking care of that); and (2) because I could evidently show them that I’m the true winner. It’s his way of encouraging me to fight for my calling in singing. He wiped the tears from my eyes with his hands. I know that he feels much pain for me. And that made me cry more but I held on to God as my voice and to what my trainer told me. I praise GOD for He provided me my mentor who really taught me a lot in singing–the singing that doesn’t need a voice to be heard, just a life to touch hearts.
Some people knew me as strong and brave because I always compete and win, but I can fully relate to what the song said, “They don’t know that I come running home when I fall down. They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around. I dropped my sword and cried for just a while. ‘Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child.” Often times when I’m being snobbish already or I’m being so quiet, that just symbolizes one thing… that I’m nervous–really nervous. When my trainer saw me already having that response, he’ll tell me, “O, cool ka lang. Huwag kang kabahan… sayang ang make-up… sayang ang sheol…” Then he’ll immediately give me or tell me something that will make me laugh and for my natural snobbish aura to subside. I can’t forget those moments. I just felt being a princess always with my best trainer ever! He is my mentor not just in singing very hard contest pieces, but he is also my mentor in serving the Lord. He told me before he left going abroad, “Huwag muna mag-boyfriend, baby ka pa. Gusto ko makita ka serving the Lord.” I just nodded. And I believe that I did not fail GOD and him.
In all these experiences that I had, and the other details that I cannot include here anymore, I can always remember and still want to remember what he told me few seconds before I step on the stage, with the vocal techniques and mechanics, to finally sing the piece that we’ve practiced for 3 months; he’ll just look straight to my eyes, holding my hand, saying, “Ibigay mo na sa’kin lahat ng kaba–kumanta ka lang–enjoy mo lang.” I don’t know what happened but “it” happened. It’s God’s Message to me delivered by my mentor. I suddenly have no worries in mind, all I know is I have to bring glory to my God because I carry His Name; to my parents who filed a leave of absence in the office to support and protect me there, to my teachers who were with my parents to be my greatest intercessors, who can’t breathe when I sing (as they told me); and to my schoolmates who didn’t clap their hands in the duration of my song, as it is the law, and waited so patienly until my extro before they clap with their life. I can still remember the thrill and the chill and the near death feeling I had. And I can say that I love my school so much–I love the JESUS of my JILCF. They taught me how te be the “Jane Christian Peñaflorida Amparo” that God wants me to be–having the slogan of JILCF carved deep within my very soul–“We’re building a new world where Jesus Is Lord.” That’s the path I walked on. That’s the life of a JILian.
Other schools carry the name of a god: Sto Niño Academy, St Mary’s College, etc.; or other names of doctors and famous people in Bulacan. But like David when faced to Goliath, I represented the Most High God, the Name that is above every Name–Jesus Christ–the God of Jesus Is Lord Colleges Foundation. With this GOD, we shall always be a winner–we’ll never worry what’s in front or behind us–we’re on the winning side. What a great God we have! Hallelujah!
The Confirmation
God revealed Himself to me through my parents, especially my mom. She told me that when I was still in her womb, I was showing already the gift of music. If I remember it precisely, my mom relayed to me the story; she was pregnant with me during a leadership camp of JIL in 1987. There were preachings and praise and worship in Praise Valley, Norzagaray, Bulacan; and there was a distinct moment that mommy always retell me even now. She said that during the praise and worship, I am moving too strong in her womb; that I am also worshiping even inside her body. I believe that the Lord revealed it to my mom already because both of my parents has a gift in music. They also told me that when I was still a baby, their ears were hurt because of the high note that I produced when crying. They said I was like a siren of a fire truck. Everyone’s attention was gotten by my little-high pitch.
During my growing years, I think I was just 8 years old, my mom took me with her in the conference of Australian prophets. My mom is a pastor and being the youngest child, I’ve always had the privilege to come with them. And I guess that’s the reason why my siblings were always angry with me because of that “privilege”. 😀 I know that you can relate with me in this “bunso” kind of thing. We are not “spoiled”, just “privileged”. haha 😀
In the last day of the conference, my mom took me by the hand and led me to the prophet. I was not thinking of anything. I just bowed my head as my mom talked to the prophet… I just heard him say, “You will be a prophetic singer.” From that day, I know that something changed. And with my co-Author, it shall come to pass. Because the truth is, whatever prophecies spoken to us, if we will not cooperate and fight and die for GOD’S purposes and agenda in our lives, we will be just ordinary people. The LORD takes care of our path, but the choice of “walking” or “running” or “crawling” depends on us–it’s still our choice. We will only be happy if we’re not going the opposite way. Why burden yourself if you can hit bulls eye the first attempt? No worries. No regrets. Just joyful and satisfaction-guaranteed service to the One who is and is to come.
Just Hubby
From the very beginning, I’m not embracing “the calling” or “the vision” or “the revelation” or “the dream”, I’m just loving the Giver and not the gift. And there’s nothing in this world that I can call “reward” but Him alone. Nothing else matters.
Worship for me…
For me, worshiping the LORD is not just singing; worshiping the LORD is seeing what He sees, hearing what He hears, doing what He’s doing, holding what He’s holding, walking where He is walking… loving what He loves, treasuring what He treasures, despising what He despises… WORSHIPING THE LORD IS ROMANCING WITH HIM–WORSHIP IS BEING MARRIED WITH JESUS.
For the reader ^___^
I love the Samaritan woman encounter with Jesus at the well. The Message (MSG) version of the Bible tells us the story in John 4:21-24,
21-23 “Believe me, woman, the time is coming when you Samaritans will
worship the Father neither here at this mountain nor there in
Jerusalem. You worship guessing in the dark; we Jews worship in the
clear light of day. God’s way of salvation is made available through
the Jews. But the time is coming–it has, in fact, come–when what
you’re called will not matter and where you go to worship will not
matter.
23-24 “It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God.
Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s
the kind of people the Father is looking out for: those who are simply
and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer
being itself–Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their
very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.”
Developing such kind of worship experience in our heart, soul, mind and strength requires T.I.M.E–Truth, Intimacy, Me–Everything. God is a Person and He is so desperate for a moment, just a moment where we can sit beside Him and linger with the affluence and infinity of His peace. Believe me when I tell you that we can get everything in worship, we can be complete in worship. When we see JESUS as Everything, then there’s nothing more to fret about because He knows everything–HE IS EVERYTHING.
To this only GOD will I offer my past, present and future. He’s my life; the reason of my existence. I’ll be crazy without Him. A woman’s worth is always after her Husband’s, always “after” her Husband. And before we can be a “wife” to a person, we should be a wife of JESUS. We don’t just remain a bride who is dressed in a beautiful white gown. No ceremony and rituals can license our relationship with the Bridegroom until we go for the “honeymoon”–that will make it official, sealed and Blood-covenanted redemption, salvation, and reconciliation lived all through out eternity. We go deeper. We stay longer. We enjoy Him and He’s enjoying us forever–it is our chief end. I know that’s the very reason why He created worship, the intimate hour of the Lover and the Beloved, the way it was defined in Song of Songs 8:6-7,
6″Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jelousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
7Many waters cannot quench love,
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.”
That’s how my worship-marriage will always be to my God-Husband. In my relationship with Him, there’s needless to say, “Do not awaken love until it so desires…” because there is an invitation–and your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth–to worship the Father in spirit and in truth.
Psalm Hadassah 